Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
