He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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