home. puking in laundry basket.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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