i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
