Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
