So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
