Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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