dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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