____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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