Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
