Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
