and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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