She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
