just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
