why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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