If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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