My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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