Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
