You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I want a musical about memes.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
