Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
