Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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