My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I love having hate sex.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
