Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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