oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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