Jerry, you need to find god
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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