He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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