You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
