At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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