Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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