Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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