he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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