I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I understand Curling. That high.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i now understand why vodka
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