I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize