I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
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