doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
