i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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