Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Is it because I queefed?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
