Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
