I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
