actually, I'm a sock model
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
