ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
