Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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