I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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