This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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