She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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