When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
