I hate your face
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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