in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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