so let's talk penis.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
