ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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