Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We're too hungover to prance.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
