I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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