Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
