She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
