I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
