Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
