3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
