it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
