hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
