I hope mine doesn't look like that
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
