She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
