Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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