I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
